Stop telling me that I need to speak to my momster because she is my momster. This woman only has that title but nothing else. I don’t want to speak to her because she has abused and neglected my feelings for years. I also do not want to have contact with my siblings since they also follow her pattern. This might seem cruel to you because it is inconceivable to believe that a mother would behave this way to you; but you did not grow up shielding her insults and blocking her hurtful words thrown your way. Every single emotion I’ve had has been disregarded or forgotten. Now I understand that this is damaging to a child and even more to an adult who did not have anyone’s support or understanding. This is my experience of her. My siblings have a different relationship with her since she gains things from them and they make excuses for her. I have always been resistant to her control. I always stand up for the truth. It’s hard to be the only one who sees the reality in our lives. I no longer feel held down by any of them. I no longer feel pressured to be involved. I feel free. Free to be happy. Free to be myself. Free to be an amazing wife, mother, friend to those who truly love me unconditionally. Those are the people who truly deserve my involvement. While I never wish them harm, I do not ever want their poison in my life. I hear all the time, “she is your mother anyways. ” and you are absolutely correct. She is my momster and she can not abuse me any longer. I fully expect flying monkeys to come to a defense but I am ready.
- The Black Sheep