Have you ever noticed the little effort toxic people put into gift giving? With the holidays coming up, we are running around trying to find great items for our loved ones. When we give a gift it reflects the awareness you have of another person. The price does not matter, what matters is the thought behind it. As expected, when it is your turn to receive a gift from a narcissistic individual it is full of strings attached. The gift is to show the surrounding people (flying monkeys and potential flying monkeys), that they have “changed” and want to include you. It is placing the blame again on you. You are the one that always has issues according to them. This is their moment to put on a show for everyone to see.
Another fun gift idea you might receive is something picked out that is just not your taste. They fully “forget” you have no interest in cooking but they get you a blender for the holidays to “get you started”. This action is meant as baiting to see your reaction in front of others. This is a win-win situation for them because it makes you react and they know it. They can also pick the ugliest things to gift you that are simply not your taste. This is because they lack awareness. The thought process meant for you is simply not there.
We also have toxic individuals that “forget” it is the holidays all together. When it is your turn they act as if they completely forgot yet again setting you up for disappointment. It is a tactic used by them to embarrass you in front of company. How can they forget a holiday when it is splashed all over the place?
One excuse I heard every special occasion is that they simply do not have money to get you anything. Every year there is a slew of excuses why they simply cannot gift you anything and they cannot make ends meet. There could be some truth to this as everyone experiences financial hardship at one time or another. But with narcissists, it is on every special occasion. As a matter of fact, they claim hardship but always have their nails, hair, facials, or new clothing. Their stories never add up which raises doubt in their story. Even basic things such as calling and visiting are too hard for them.
This holiday season expect the unexpected if you are still in contact or low contact. If you are no contact, know you might get some hoovering tactics thrown your way from the narcissists and flying monkeys. Stay strong during this time and grey rock your way through it.